I haven’t really known what to write about. It’s sort of like the conversation I had with PK yesterday, where he said that sometimes there’s just too much to talk about, because things to reveal just pile up, and so it becomes easier to just not say anything.
My internship is over. It was really heartbreaking to leave. So, I’m trying to continue on doing some work for them outside of the internship, but I’ve been finding myself wholly unmotivated to do anything, really.
Part of it is that working from home is difficult. My couch is so comfortable, and my TV is so big. Working at a coffee shop is too loud, and working at a bar is kind of weird.
The library is too far away for my unmotivated butt to get to. I don’t really know what else to say about it.
I’ve also decided to try my hand at some freelance book reviews. I just got the first book in the mail yesterday. It’s uncomfortable being at that moment where what you’ve said you were going to do meets the things you have to do. It’s not that I don’t want to do it. I just now have to be what I said I was, and hopefully I’ll be good at it.
Bob and I have made a few friends, which is nice, and feels good. Making new friends operates under the same principle, maybe, that I detailed above. Initially, making friends is sort of about convincing people that you are a good person, friendly, funny, trustworthy, etc. And then later you have to actually be all of those things, hopefully without faltering. Good friends will stick around when you falter, because they have their own worthiness to prove, too. Equal pressure keeps it stable.
For now, I’m not trying to make best friends, so I mainly have to prove that I’m fun, funny, and down for the party.
But, if you don’t know me, I’m not really that funny.
I have this friend that I met maybe 5 or 6 years ago, under the circumstance that I was dating his roommate. He didn’t really like his roommate, so consequently he didn’t really like me. He claims that the first time we met we were all watching Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, and I was saying the dumbest, worst, least funny stuff. He blames it on my preconceived idea of what kind of person I was based on who I was dating, but I know that I’m just not that funny without a history.
Once you know me, I’m pretty charming. I’m comfortable with that.
The big news that I’m sort of ignoring is that Milkweed is hiring and Administrative Assistant.
I want it too much, so I’m trying to stay a little distant.
Anyway, a few weeks ago we went with some friends to the frozen Medicine Lake to check out these Art Shanties that local artists had built. It was a pretty good time. The shanties got a little boring (except the dance shanty), as evidenced by our fascination with this hole a scientist was drilling in the ice with a manual auger.
It took about 45 minutes to drill through the two feet of ice, and we all took turns. When we finally make it through the ice to the water, all the lake water bubbled up out of the hole carrying this little minnow. It was adorable.
I want to go ice fishing really badly.
Then we finished the day by going to the Malt Shop, and getting delicious food and dreamy malts. Mine was fig and honey. It was really sublime.
A few days later we went to the house of one of the other first-years from Bob’s grad program. They had built a bonfire, and we made popcorn.
Everything smelled so good.